If I asked you to use a prop to try to explain the damaging effects that bullying can have on children, chances are you probably wouldn’t think of reaching for the fruit bowl. But that’s exactly what a teacher from Birmingham, UK did recently, and as you can see, the result was pretty amazing.
Rosie Dutton visits schools to teach kids about mindfulness. Last Tuesday she posted on her Facebook page – called Relax Kids Tamworth – about a lesson she’d recently taught about bullying. Since then it’s been liked more than 160k times and the story has gone viral as people share her amazing lesson. “Wow, i didn’t expect this to get this kind of reaction,” she wrote on Facebook. “I hope we can take the apple lesson…forward and start to open up a conversation with our children about the pain our words may cause.” Read on to learn more.
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Today in one of our classes I introduced the children to two apples (the children didn’t know this, but before the class I had repeatedly dropped one of the apples on the floor, you couldn’t tell, both apples looked perfect). We talked about the apples and the children described how both apples looked the same; both were red, were of similar size and looked juicy enough to eat.
I picked up the apple I’d dropped on the floor and started to tell the children how I disliked this apple, that I thought it was disgusting, it was a horrible colour and the stem was just too short. I told them that because I didn’t like it, I didn’t want them to like it either, so they should call it names too.
Some children looked at me like I was insane, but we passed the apple around the circle calling it names, ‘you’re a smelly apple’, ‘I don’t even know why you exist’, ‘you’ve probably got worms inside you’ etc.
We really pulled this poor apple apart. I actually started to feel sorry for the little guy.
We then passed another apple around and started to say kind words to it, ‘You’re a lovely apple’, ‘Your skin is beautiful’, ‘What a beautiful colour you are’ etc.
I then held up both apples, and again, we talked about the similarities and differences, there was no change, both apples still looked the same.
I then cut the apples open. The apple we’d been kind to was clear, fresh and juicy inside.
The apple we’d said unkind words to was bruised and all mushy inside.
I think there was a lightbulb moment for the children immediately. They really got it, what we saw inside that apple, the bruises, the mush and the broken bits is what is happening inside every one of us when someone mistreats us with their words or actions.
When people are bullied, especially children, they feel horrible inside and sometimes don’t show or tell others how they are feeling. If we hadn’t have cut that apple open, we would never have known how much pain we had caused it.
I shared my own experience of suffering someone’s unkind words last week. On the outside I looked OK, I was still smiling. But, on the inside someone had caused me a lot of pain with their words and I was hurting.
Unlike an apple, we have the ability to stop this from happening. We can teach children that it’s not ok to say unkind things to each other and discuss how it makes others feel. We can teach our children to stand up for each other and to stop any form of bullying, just as one little girl did today when she refused to say unkind words to the apple.
More and more hurt and damage happens inside if nobody does anything to stop the bullying. Let’s create a generation of kind, caring children.
The tongue has no bones, but is strong enough to break a heart. So be careful with your words.
Wow, I didn’t expect this to get this kind of reaction, but as there has been many questions popping up I thought I’d clarify a few points.
The apple was a red apple and to ensure it remained looking like there was no damage inside it was tapped repeatedly (but gently) on the floor over and over again. To touch you could feel the bruising, but you could not see it. No one noticed this within the class.
After the apple was cut open and the impact was made, we discussed how I’d purposely bruised the apple before the session to make the point that we don’t often see the pain our words cause people. It had a very powerful impact. Children got it and children understood.
During this Relax Kids class (and every class) we offer children tools and techniques to manage their feelings and emotions, and through our unique seven steps we offer children strategies and solutions to manage any stress or anxiety. All of our activities promote teamwork, respect, peer support, conflict resolution, self-esteem and confidence, and children know where to go for support, if needed.
Thank you for all your amazing support and kind words.